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For a long time, I bought into a popular idea: that the ultimate goal of life is to eliminate stress. I told myself, “I only do what serves me, what feels good to me, and none of what gives me anxiety or makes me uncomfortable.” It sounds like the perfect formula for a peaceful life, doesn't it?

I spent months—actually, a whole year—living by that mantra. And on the surface, it worked. Life was peaceful. There was a sense of quiet happiness. But as the weeks turned into months, I realized something unsettling: I was losing myself.

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