Maintaining Peace is War
Every single morning that I wake up, I am faced with 1000's of decisions that cloud my mind. Positive and negative thoughts that compete for my time and attention. They desire my action. They crave for immediate execution. I am no where near the boy I used to be. I got this. I make the decision to rise from sleep, make my bed, wash my face brush my teeth. Good. I've won this morning (tomorrow who knows?).
I tell my self to "take one day at a time". I'm preparing myself for todays emails, text and phone calls that are often problematic. My tastebuds crave the foods I should not be eating. People who I owe favors to ask me to help them at the very moment when I don't have time. There is so much work that needs to be done in and outside of my home. So many thoughts racing through my mind that I consider simply sleeping for a few more hours. But I make the decision to rise from sleep, make my bed, wash my face brush my teeth. Good. I've won this morning (tomorrow who knows?).
This morning the water bill from last months surprise leak arrive. $347 and some change. But the water company doesnt send bills with malicious intent. An immediate phone call discovers ServLine, an organization that helps with 2 bills per 12month cycle. Thank you God for peaceful resolution. Why do we always assume malicious intent before reaching out to people.
War is not always vicious and violent. In the case of us, it is a struggle or competition between opposing forces or for a particular end. My dad taught us early that there will always be a war between spirit and flesh even. I've lost that war time and time again learning key lessons along the way. So today I find myself praying for mental peace. I release holds I've placed on myself. I forgive myself. I understand my war and I'm thankful that on this day and in this moment I am at peace.